I am a computer scientist

Mathieu Petitpas, University of Ottawa CSI alumnus (2001)
Marc Fortier, SITE Technical Staff and University of Ottawa CSI alumnus (1993)
Élaine Charette, University of Ottawa CSI alumna (2001)

I'm not a loser or a nerd, and I don't live in my parents' basement, or play D&D every night, or use a pocket protector. And I don't know Scott McNealy (1), Steve Jobs (2) or Linus Torvalds (3) from Silicon Valley although I'm certain they were nice people before they made it big.

I like computers, not gadgets. I program in C++, Java and Perl, not Fortran. I don't play with CAD/CAM, and pronounce it Linux, not "lie-nucks".

I can proudly say that I'm a geek. I believe in OSS (4), not M$ (5), flex-time, not 9-to-5, stock options, not promotion through the ranks, and that computer scientists deserve the respect of their non-CS colleagues.

In CSI, we DO learn problem solving, we CAN build mission-critical systems, not "just little bits of code", and maybe I don't have a girlfriend, but I can play with Eliza! (6) I can even make her sound sexy! (7)

Bill Gates IS the borg, VB Script IS a virus and Visual Basic is NOT a real programming language.

CSI is second-to-none in providing job opportunities, the largest program in the Faculty of Engineering, and the best program to graduate from!

My name is (your name here), and I am a computer scientist!

  1. President of Sun Microsystems Inc.
  2. CEO of Apple Computer Corporation
  3. Original designer of the Linux operating system
  4. Open Source Software
  5. Pronounced "emm-ess", refers to Microsoft Corporation
  6. Eliza is probably the most famous artificial intelligence program ever written. The program basically acts as a psychological therapist, asking the user to talk about his / her problems, and then responding to the user's statements. There is nothing intelligent about Eliza; the program just scans for some keywords in what the user inputs and uses that in combination to pre-determined response patterns to form a response.
  7. If the ranter is female, this part can be replaced by "... and maybe I don't have a boyfriend, but I can play with Pascal! I can even make him sound sexy!". Pascal refers to the programming language designed by Niklaus Wirth; it is named after the famous mathematician / philosopher Blaise Pascal and it was designed as a language used to teach students how to program.